Mock The Week Funniest Book Of All Time
Mock the Week is the BBCs is currentLy the most popular panel quiz show attracting millions of viewers every week. So this Mock the Week Funniest Book of All Time makes the ideal gift for fans of the topical programme and those with a wicked sense of humour. The book is a a compilation of edgy gags and lines from the team of comedy panelists and comprises 79 chapters of "Unlikelies", "Bad Things to happen at.. & "Bad Names to give..". Below is a taster of what to expect, although we wouldn't advise you give this to someone who is extremely straight laced like your in-laws or maiden aunt unless they've been plied with sherry first. Categories include UNLIKELY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS: arsehopper (n.): small green insect that lives up your arse. I may have misheard this. UNLIKELY VILLAGE NAMES: Clegg-Under-Cameron; Cock-on-the-Curtain; Tinchy Stryder . . . UNLIKELY THINGS TO HEAR DURING SCHOOL ASSEMBLY: 'This year's Speech Day has of course been ruined by those silly boys who assassinated Mr Bartram . . . ' UNLIKELY THINGS TO HEAR ON DOWNTON ABBEY: 'Mr Bates's leg? He hurt it helping Otis Ferry throw a fire extinguisher off Nelson's Column at a Countryside Alliance march.' ' BAD THINGS TO SAY TO A POLICEMAN
Price: £14.99
Buy Now from Menkind
The Ultimate Book Of Useless Information
The world is full of statistics, trivia and of course, useless information. This is the gift book for the individual who has an unhealthy interest in the irredeemably pointless. So who would compile such a list? The Useless Information Society that’s who! This society comprises a group of journalists, TV personalities and other assorted oddbods who meet twice a year to get enormously drunk and swap - you guessed it - useless information… So now, those interested in the “not very interesting” can follow the examples of these journos and get together with friends, get enormously drunk and swap useless information thanks to this useful tome of useless facts. Were you aware, for example, that dynamite contains monkey nuts as an ingredient? Or what percentage of the world's population is drunk at any one time? The vital statistics of a groundhog? Or the odds of being killed by a tornado? Makes a great Christmas Stocking filler or even secret Santa gift for the less scintillating personality in your office.
Price: £6.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Crazy Shit Old People Say
This gift book is the ultimate in novelty gifts for the senior citizens amongst us. After all, most of them have everything they possibly need (although not everything they want – like youth), therefore, remind them just how tactless and unthinking they can be! Filled with gems and pearls of wisdom which can only come with being long in the tooth, this book is divided into chapters including (but not limited to) When I was Your Age Bloody Kids You Gotta Respect Me, I’m a Senile Citizen Don’t Trust the Commie Bastards –or anyone else for that matter Wanna hear about my operation? and many more With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar'. It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short'. What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
Price: £6.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Rugby Lovers Companion
Most chaps have played rugby in one form or another whether it’s just at school or to higher levels. So this is a great book for Rugby enthusiasts everywhere from the winger or prop to the armchair Sportsman. If you've survived eighty minutes in the scrum and managed to stay out of the sin bin, try tackling this championship-level miscellany of quotes, jokes, trivia and enough rugby inspired fun to delight all pugnacious props, hospital pass hookers and fabulous fly-halves. Chapters include : From Chasing Pigs’ Bladders to Winning World Cups Tasty Tackles Backs to the Future Rugby Vs Football The Six Nations and many more ….
Price: £9.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Little Book Of Camper Vans
For those who remember the halcyon days of cruising around the continent in a commer van or who are simply enthusiasts, Little Book of Land Rover makes a wonderful nostalgic gift book. In hardback, The Little Book of Camper Van looks back at the development of one of the most quirky and unique vehicles to have been manufactured, has sold more than 50,000 copies since its launch in 2009. Anyone who has ever driven a Volkswagen Camper will appreciate the appeal of this unique vehicle with its styling and versatility. It has given birth to a raft of products and apparel over the last few years including cufflinks, tents, mugs, money boxes and much more. A fascinating look at a cultural icon.
Price: £7.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Spectacular Uses For A Saggy Scrotum
Spectular Suggestions for a Saggy Scrotum is not just a useful guide to dealing with the fact your wedding tackle and everything else is heading southwards – it’s also a celebration of getting older! After all, Being an old git is wonderful isn't it? You can spill food on your cardigan, park badly and shout at children and no-one bats an eyelid. But have you noticed the bizarre changes in your body too? The enormous ears, the extraordinary amount of excess nose hair and, of course, the saggy scrotum. Yes, you can't deny it, where once things were pert and taut, now the crown jewels look like they've been melted down for scrap. Well here in this decidedly unsaggy volume is your salvation - a scintillating collection of spectacular ideas for your saggy scrotum. This is the best guide to saggy scrotums the world has ever seen. Filled with funny illustrations and tips, it's perfect for the old git you know – just don’t show it to anyone of a nervous disposition or your maiden aunt either. In paperback, it's perfect reading matter for the throne room too!
Price: £7.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Man Flu Mints
If everyone in your house suffers when the man in your life gets sick, then these peppermints are a perfect reminder just what a big baby he can be when suffering the sniffles. Man Flu mints are ideal for when he’s really, really, really poorly. Packaged in a neat collectable tin, these sweets are sugar free – after all we don’t want to cause toothache either and an emergency visit to the dentist after suffering the flu! These peppermints make a hilarious novelty gift for the wimpy man in your life Sugar-free confection with sweeteners - they won't cause a tooth ache as well! Comes neatly packaged in a collectable tin - approx 8 x 7cm Makes an ideal stocking filler or secret santa gift Net weight: 45g
Price: £2.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Hot Bottle Hand Warmer
You know the saying “Cold hands, warm heart”? Well now there is no need for your extremities to suffer the cold either! In the shape of the old fashioned hot water bottle, it’s ideal for keeping those mitts warm on cold wintery days and perfect for the handbag or coat pocket. After all, wouldn't carrying a full sized water bottle wherever you go look a bit naff? So what it is? The Hot Water Bottle Hand Warmer is a reusable Hand Warmer which retains its heat for approximately 20 minutes and is ideal for keep those "pocketed" hands warm. To use, simply snap the disc inside to activate and the hand warmer will heat up to in no time to a temperature of 35 degrees centigrate. To re-use, heat in boiling water until the crystals have dissolved, leave to cool and click again when warmth is required! Great for keeping the chill away on days out, during long winter walks, visits to the ski slopes, even outdoor wintery events such as fireworks night, New Years Eve or Diwali.
Price: £2.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Grumpy Old Git Mug
Know any Grumpy Old Gits? You're bound to as the world seems to be full of them these days! Surely life in the 21st century isn't that bad. Of course, some old blokes don't admit they're wrong or even bad tempered - it's just everybody else that is! So if he's turning into Victor Meldrew then award him with this Grumpy Old Git Mug. And If his royal "grizzliness" is the type who can’t face the day without a morning brew or coffee, then this coffee mug is the perfect way to suggest that the day can only get better! Grumpy Old Git chunky porcelain coffee mug, ideal for the grumpy old git in your life In glossy black with "Grumpy Old Git" written in an amusing white font Makes a great Birthday gift and is ideal for the old git in the office Measures 10cm and is dishwasher and microwave safe Perfect for the Grumpy Old Git in your life
Price: £4.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Spot The Intro Jukebox Tin
Here’s a party game that the whole family can enjoy, particularly music fans! Spot the Intro is a brilliant game for people who know and love their music. Inside the jukebox-style tin is a board game with 495-clip audio CD plus an entertaining card based rock 'n' pop trivia quiz. Players race to identify introductory clips and answer trivia questions on music from the 1960s to today (there are over a thousand questions). Can be played individually or in teams. A great party game for dinner parties – urge your guests to take a nostalgic trip down memory lane and remember music hits over four decades. It may even reveal the musical tastes of your friends too! What's in the Box? 495 clip audio CD Playing board Dice Counters 4 card decks Rules & answer book Age 14+. Players 3+
Price: £19.99
Buy Now from Menkind
Recent Comments